White discharge is normal, and so are labia of different sizes and colors. Every person is different, and their vulvas look different as well. All of these differences are normal. You don’t have to be embarrassed about it.
If you are thinking about killing yourself, maybe you should try speaking to someone you know and trust about it. If you don’t have anyone to talk to, you can call the Suicide Prevention hotline at call 1-800-273-8255.