Because I am a Woman

[T]he fact that we’re still talking about the overemphasis on looks means that too many people still believe that they can pull the “you’re ugly” trump card when they don’t agree with a woman. You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.

[TW: Disordered eating] I am not alone in this. I am one of a mul­ti­tude. I have met women of my age who eat what they want and couldn’t care less if they gained two pounds over Christ­mas, but I am firmly con­vinced that they are the excep­tion, not the rule. The rule is that if you are a woman in Amer­ica you want noth­ing quite so much as you want to be a lit­tle smaller. The rule is you are always try­ing to lose. It’s no coin­ci­dence that this is pri­mar­ily a women’s issue (although I don’t want to dis­count the grow­ing num­ber of men who fall vic­tim to dis­or­dered eat­ing as well). Even in today’s soci­ety women’s bod­ies are not entirely our own, and we are not always able to avoid oth­ers’ attempts to pass judg­ment on or make demands of or pos­sess them. We are oblig­ated to be attrac­tive in a way men are not. We have been made respon­si­ble for the cul­ti­va­tion of other people’s desire. We are con­stantly under the scrutiny of a hege­monic male gaze that demands beauty and accepts no sub­sti­tutes, and we are left to pla­cate that watch­ful ideal by tithing gym trips and skipped din­ners. And so whole nations of women spend their hours not read­ing books or lov­ing bands or mak­ing the god­damn rev­o­lu­tion but instead ago­niz­ing over the inches of a waist, strength­en­ing the bounds that tether us to a sink­ing anchor.