Because I am a Woman

In the last couple of months I have gotten a lot of questions about choosing your first sex toy. Since I am now basking in the awesome laziness of summer, I figured it was about time I really got into the specifics for all those looking to try something new. Whether you are looking to invest in a toy that will last a very long time, or just something to ease you into sex toys, this guide should help you nail down exactly what you are looking for!

Below you will find the basic criteria you should keep in mind while shopping for a sex toy. Use it to create a blue-print for your perfect toy. 

Type of Toy (Use, Size, Shape): The first thing you will want to look at when you are deciding on a toy is what kind you want. There are vibrators, g-spot toys, dildos, cock rings, masturbators, and tons of other options. To decide what kind of toy you want, simply think about what you want to use it for. It may help to look through a sex toy website first and see what is out there before deciding on this. This applies to the shape of your toy as well. 

Next, you will want to look into what size toy you want. There is nothing wrong with wanting something big, or small. If it is your first toy ever and you are looking for something to insert, it may help to work your way up, but it really depends on what you enjoy. You may not know what you want, and that is okay too. Do not be afraid of thinking about it for awhile, and maybe starting with something small and low-priced and work your way up until you find something that is exactly what you like best.

Material (What is it made out of? How does that impact the way it can be cleaned? How does it impact the texture of the toy): What a sex toy is made out of is one of the most important things you should consider when purchasing a product. What the toy is made out of will determine if it is body friendly, water proof, hard, soft, textured, etc.  

If a toy is body friendly or not should be a deal breaker. What this basically means is if the toy is made out of something that has harmful toxins in it and if it can be cleaned or not. As a general rule, completely avoid anything that is jelly or has a smell to it. These toys are toxic and cannot be cleaned, which could have serious side effects on your health. Your best bet is generally silicone, glass, metal, or a hard non-porous plastic. To clean, follow the instructions provided with your toy when you buy it. 

As far as texture goes, it may be helpful to actually feel a couple of toys for yourself in a store. However, since that is not always possible you can assume that a hard plastic, metal, or glass toy will be hard. Silicone can go either way (although make sure you do not use a silicone lube with a silicone toy). Read product descriptions and reviews carefully to find a more in depth explanation on the texture of any given toy. 

Power level (If it vibrates, how much? How loud is the toy?): If you have decided that you are looking for a toy that vibrates, be it a cock ring or a traditional vibe, it is very important that you look into the intensity of the toy. Some people like intense vibrations, some people smaller ones, and still others a combination. You can get vibrating toys that are multi-speed AND multi-vibration patterns. The best way to find out what would be the most compatible with you and your body is to put the vibrating toy up to your nose. This should give you a pretty good idea about the way it will feel on your genitals.

While you’re testing the feel of the vibrations, you might also want to listen to the noise level of the toy. If you have roommates or live with your parents, you might want to find a toy that is more discreet. If you live on your own or really do not care what anyone else thinks then just disregard this and get down with whatever toy you thought worked best with your other criteria!

If you are shopping for a toy online, checking for the intensity and noise level may be a little trickier. A lot of very reputable sex toy websites either have this information listed on each toys page, or you can find out how the toy performs in the comment/review sections. For example, at Eden Fantasys this information is listed on a scale from one to five for each and every toy on their entire website. 

Price: This will obviously be a major part of your toy selection. However, I promise there are amazing toys at every price range! My best price advice is to make sure you find something you can afford but do not settle on a toy simply because it is cheap. Hold out for something in your price range that is body friendly and works for you!

Good luck in your search! If you have any questions, feel free to submit them here.

I’ve written many posts about sex toys in the past, but one topic I have typically shied away from has been anal toys. Now that I have some free time to write, I figured it’d be as good of a time as any to tackle the subject.

As Sex Educator Megan Andelloux (Oh Megan) always says, the anus is the great equalizer. It is something that everyone has, regardless of their genitals. However, when starting anal play there are a couple of key things to keep in mind. First, make sure you are very relaxed. You can’t enjoy putting something in your butt if you aren’t relaxed, and when you are everything is easier and less painful to insert. Try relaxing your jaw and everything else should follow. Second, make sure all toys you use have a flange, ( a base wider than the rest of the toy/your anus) as to not have your toy get stuck! Last but not least, make sure not to put a toy (or penis) that has just been in your anus in your vagina without making sure it is clean first, otherwise you risk infection. 

Now that these ground rules are set, lets talk about sex toys!

Anal Beads:  Anal beads are characterized by a long serious of beads or balls connected by string or fused together. As with all anal toys, you want to make sure that the material is smooth, seamless, and easy to disinfect. With beads, you should look for beads/balls that are connected with a non-porous material. Never buy a product with actual string between the beads as this cannot be disinfect.

One great toy that I recommend is the Flexi Felix. In addition to being adorable and affordable, it is also made of silicone so it is perfect for anal play.

Butt Plugs: Butt plugs are a toy that fit inside your anus. They have an anchor, and they basically just hang out there. They give wearers a feeling of fullness, and many people really really love them. In a plug, you should look for the same features as all other anal toys (a flange, non-porous material, etc). 

If you are going with a butt plug, a glass toy is a great option. The Moon Shine is a great example of one of these toys. It gets incredible reviews and you truly cannot beat the price. An added bonus of glass? It conducts heat so you can warm it up or cool it down prior to insertion for new sensations. 

Prostate Massagers: These toys were originally intended to aid penis-owners in prostate health. Stimulation of the prostate has been proven to keep it healthy, and it turns out that many penis-owners found that it also felt pretty damn good!

The Aneros Helix is a very popular prostate massager option. It is made of hard plastic, and designed to enhance pleasure through prostate stimulation.

Don’t forget…. When you’re using toys for anal play it is still very important to use lubrication! Since the anus does not create its own, the only way to ensure that everything goes smoothly is to use lube. For anal play,  you will want to use a thicker option. Maximus is a great water-based option for anal play!

Its official! It is finally the holiday season! Everyone who knows me knows that I am a crazy Christmas fan, (I actually set up my tree the first weekend of November), and I’m pumped to get into the hardcore festivities! However, I know that buying gifts for others is always really hard. If you’re up for it, you can always make a beautiful present that will be appreciated for years to come, but we’re just all not that crafty. If you’re in the market for a gift, might I suggest a sex toy? Call me inappropriate, but I give out sex toys, condoms, and lube as gifts all the time! If you’re in the market, here my personal picks for this holiday season! Happy hunting!

For your partner(s): I always find my partner to be the most difficult person in my life to shop for. However, a sex toy (especially a couple friendly one) is a great gift that we can often both enjoy. There are two main kinds of toys that work best for my partner and I: couples toys, and sexy gift-type toys. Here are one of each kind that would be great for your special someone!

1. The We Vibe II:  This toy is an awesome and versatile toy that I strongly believe could work for any person in any kind of relationship. It is eco-friendly (made of silicone, and is rechargeable). It is fairly strong, fairly quiet, and easily the most handy toy you will have in your arsenal. Since it bends, it can be worn internally during p-v sex or masturbation providing g-spot, clitoral, and shaft stimulation (if your partner has a penis). It can also be bended to fit like a cock ring. There are so many options!

2. Knead Me Massage Set: Jimmy Jane really hit the ball out of the park with this one. This set again is perfect for couples- it really does take two people to use this gift (or who will massage you!?) The first part is a massage oil candle. You light it, let it sit for a couple of minutes and then pour it on to whatever part of the body you wish to massage. The oil doesn’t get overly hot and the side of the candle has a little spout to make sure there is no mess. The second part is a ceramic massager that feels super good with the massage oil. It also comes in a cute box that makes it look super fancy!

Fore Everyone Else; General Holiday-Themed Toys: If you’re completly lost for a gift and you’re going the sex toy route here are a couple of fun toys that are actually Christmas themed. For some reason, I haven’t been able to track down any for other holidays, so forgive the one-sided view. Click through the pictures to find out more about the toys!

 1.The Holiday Ball Santa Duckie: The Duckie vibrators are cute whimsical and surprisingly strong vibrators. They’re water proof and discreet, you could even bring these in the shower with you! The holiday ones, (one comes in santa, the other in gold), both come in ornaments, which makes them perfect for your tree! This would be a great gift for a friend, partner, or even for yourself! 

 2. Candy Cane Glass Wand: This is a glass wand meant for insertion and g-spot stimulation. Not only is this super festive, but because of the material it is also one of the safest toys out there. It is very easy to clean and disinfect after a night of fun. Glass also means you can heat it up or cool it down to try different sorts of sensations. 

3. Seduction Holiday Edition: The Evolved Novelties line of toys are generally really incredible basic vibes. This one is made of silicone, waterproof, multispeed, and powerful! Everything you might want in a gift for yourself or a friend. On top of all of this, it comes in a nice tin with a ribbon on it! The red color is very festive, and with its beautiful package, it is a great option to gift or keep for yourself!

Happy Holidays!

It is an all too common myth that the only people who use and enjoy sex toys are those with vaginas. This probably stems from a lack of knowledge about what exactly is a sex toy, and the wide array of products on the market. The reality is that there are toys suited for every kind of person there is. For penis owners, there are some extra special toys that I’m going to be talking about tonight.

First and foremost, there is the masturbation sleeve (or penis sleeve). These are sleeves that you put your penis into and masturbate with. Many are meant to replicate the feeling of a vagina, anus, or mouth - and most are best with a little lube. There are two particular brands I suggest to anyone in the market, Tenga and Fleshlight. Tenga offers many awesome options, and a sleeve for less than $10 (The Tenga Egg) if you’re looking to try before you invest. They have a large variety of sensations too- so look around! The Fleshlights also come in many shapes and forms- but these will run you about $60!

Next, there is the cock ring. These can be put on dildos too, but they’re mainly marketed towards those with a cock, (which is how they got their name, how clever!) These rings are bits of material or O-shaped rings that fit or tie around the penis and restrict blood flow. This is said to help penis-owners maintain an erection. Many of these rings vibrate and are used for partner sex. It can add some awesome vibrations that may enhance pleasure for beginners or seasoned veterans of the bedroom. 

These are just two examples of all the incredible toys available for penis owners, and don’t forget, anyone can use an anal toy! If you’re in the market, all sex toys for penis-owners are now 25% off on Eden Fantasys! Now go out and play!

I hear a lot of reasons that people don’t use lube. I’m here to tell you not to listen to them. USE THE LUBE. Having a bottle in your bedside drawer could not only spice up your sex-life but it makes everything go smoother! This item is absolutely essential for penetration, especially when having anal sex. Not having partner sex? Not a problem. Lube can be used with your favorite sex toy as well. It is especially important if you’ve been using antihistamines or drinking. These things dehydrate you, and when you’re dehydrated so is your vagina (or your partners). You must use lube at these times to prevent ripping and tearing places you don’t want to rip and tear!

Now that it is established that lube is the most awesomest of items, lets talk about the different kinds. Your basic three most common categories are silicone based, oil based, and water based. However, there are also more specific kinds of lube meant for masturbating, tingling sensations, oral sex, anal sex, and just about everything else you can think of. Here is a basic guide to your main kinds of lube to help you find what might work best for you!

Water Based: This lubricant is the most versatile of them all. You can use it for all kinds of play, and it doesn’t make much of a mess. It feels a little more water-like and slippery than other lubes. It doesn’t have a scent, and they’re safe to use with condoms. This lube is awesome, but it does get absorbed into the body (since its water) so you may need to reapply mid-act. Some great water based lubes that I recommend are: Maximus, Liquid Silk (my favorite), and Sliquid. 

Silicone Based: This lube lasts much better than water based lube, but a word of **warning**- don’t use it with your silicone sex toy! It will ruin it! Some great aspects of this kind of lube are that it can be used with condoms, its hypoallergenic, and its low-mess. This stuff does not get absorbed into your body though, so make sure you clean yourself up after you use it! Some silicone based lubes I recommend are: Pink Silicone, and Moist.

Oil Based: Oil based lube is great for masturbating but you cannot use it with condoms, which turns many people off of it. The  materials in it are also not good for vaginas, so vagina owners beware! Be very careful when using this product! It can be very slippery and good for anal but if you’re having sex with a vagina-owner this is not the lube for you. Some recommendations for oil based lube are: Boy Butter.

Of course there are more types of lube than this, but this should help you break it down! A quick recap: Silicone is awesome but don’t use it with your silicone sex toys! Water based is great and compatible with all kinds of sex! Oil based is good for penis owners! If you have any more questions, feel free to leave them in my ask box! Now go out and get wet.