By: Kate S.
We need to change the way that we talk about the developing bodies of young women. We ingrain in girls the idea that their bodies are corruptible and corrupting, and that creates incredibly harmful attitudes towards female sexuality.
One very common trope in sex ed (particularly in religious circles) is to use analogies like the following:
Imagine a strip of clear, clean packing tape. It is fresh and sticky, ready to bond to whatever it come in contact with. Now, imagine in your mind affixing that tape to a box and then ripping it off. Now the tape is no longer clear and clean, but has paper and lint stuck to it, and has lost a good deal of it’s stickiness. Every time you re-attach that tape it loses its ability to bond to other things.
Most of us have heard similar things, whether it is a banana out of it’s peel, a sucker that has been licked by multiple people, a cake with the frosting scrapped off (see a pattern emerging?), and they all have something in common: enforcing the idea that female bodies are somehow corruptible.
Now, this next part takes some interesting mental gymnastics. As evidenced by the story that has been making the rounds of a young woman who was kicked out of her homeschool prom because her dress was deemed inappropriate, female bodies are also seen as having the ability to corrupt others.
Whether it is a school dress code banning yoga pants or a young woman shamed for wearing a prom dress, the idea is the same: men cannot control themselves around the corrupting influence of female bodies.
So. We are both corrupting and corruptible. Our bodies are pure and dirty. The mixed messages are confounding, and harmful. Young women must be responsible not only for their own sexuality, but for that of the young men around them, and the price is too high if they fail. We need to change the way that we talk about young women’s bodies, and we need to do it now.
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By: Erin M.
It is no secret that sex education is severely lacking in most of our schools. Since parents often don’t know how to address the topic with their children, or don’t think the information is important for them to know (presumably because they don’t want their children to be having sex,) many kids end up not getting the vital information that they need. The result is that we live in a society where people are severely undereducated about sexuality and sexual health.
Although this post won’t be tackling the issues around sex education, we will be talking about some rather surprising information that you may not know about sexuality, that can change your sex life for the better!
Fact: 1 in 4 teenagers will contract an STI Each Year
Most people think that getting an STI could never possibly happen to them and you’re only truly at risk if you are promiscuous, which is far from true. In truth, 1 in 4 teens will contract an STI each year. You can contract an STI each and every time you have unprotected sex.
That’s why it’s important to practice safer sex. Using condoms, dental dams, or other barrier methods with each new partner is probably the best way to practice this. Really, the only time it is safe not to use a condom or dental dam is if you and your partner have each been tested, discussed it, and have not slept with anyone else since.
Also, communication is key! Talk to your partner- ask them if and when they’ve been tested and consider going to get tested together. Be honest about your status. Having had or having an STI is not something to be ashamed of.
Fact: 40% of women become pregnant before age 20
Teenage pregnancy is a lot more common than you think. This should illustrate why having access to reproductive health services is so important, both in preventing pregnancy and in terminating it.
Now, as you can probably assume, 40% of teenagers don’t want to have a child. Unintended pregnancy is, too often, the result of a lack of sex education. Teens aren’t learning about how to use or obtain contraception, they aren’t being taught about how to practice safer sex, nor are they learning about what can cause pregnancy (for example, there can be sperm in precum, meaning that any penis/vagina contact can put you at risk).
This fact alone is why we need access to comprehensive sex education.
Fact: You CAN still get pregnant on the pill
No form of contraception is fool-proof; if you’re having penetrative sex involving a penis and vagina, there is always a risk of pregnancy.
The birth control pill is one of the most popular methods of contraception out there, and there are two main types that can be used: progesterone only and combination (that use a combination of hormones) pills. If your pills are progesterone only, you must take it at the same time every day for it to be effective.
If you take the pill correctly, as directed by your doctor everyday, you will have less than 1% chance of getting pregnant. If you don’t always take it or take it correctly, the chances are more like 9%.
No one is perfect, so it is unlikely that you’ll take your birth control each and every day without fault.
If you are using the pill and worried about pregnancy, consider using a backup method of contraception along with it. Since the pill is hormonal, you may want to use a barrier method, something like a condom or try pulling out.
If it turns out that the birth control pill is not the best method for you, there are plenty of other options out there. The most important thing to remember is to have conversations with your medical provider about what methods will be best for you, your body, and your lifestyle.
Fact: Pulling Out Can Be An Effective Method of Contraception
Although you’ve probably heard that pulling out is not an effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, if executed properly, it can be a very effective method to use. Plus, it is free!
If you use it correctly each and every time, you have a 4% of getting pregnant within one year, meaning that it is 96% effective.
It’s those that don’t do it correctly that you always hear about- they have a 27% chance of getting pregnant within one year, making the pull out method only 73% effective.
The key for doing it correctly is communication! You and our partner have to really know your body and have an immense amount of self-control.
Check out this video to learn more about how to use this method if you’re interested.
Do you know of any other surprising facts about sex that were not included here? Reply or reblog this post and let us know! We will check-out everything included and add it in to our next post on the topic.
Imagine going in to your first day on the job as a neurosurgeon. How do you feel? Excited? A little nervous? Surprise! You have never been to medical school, and the only thing you know about the brain is that it’s somewhere in your head. What could possibly go wrong? Without proper training and education, you could kill or paralyze someone. While you may not kill anyone entering a sexual relationship uninformed, you can just as easily hurt others or yourself if you are ill-informed. This is why offering teens a comprehensive introduction to sexuality is so important.
Comprehensive sex education is a really awesome idea, but something you are often hard pressed to find many schools. Why aren’t we teaching our children healthy and holistic ways of sexuality? What are the consequences of not doing so? What can you do to help the situation? Let’s find out together!
When I say sexual education, I do not just mean learning about the mechanics of protection and how babies are made. Comprehensive sexual education also includes a measure of discussion about consent, relationships, and the requisite sexual information. We all know of the bad things that can happen when we fail to educate teens about their choices; we see the statistics on them every year. Things like teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections and the like are all things that happen when we enter the realm of sexuality unprepared. Conversely, what happens if we don’t educate our children about what it means to consent to sex? I love the “Don’t be that guy” project, and I think the message is outstanding. If we don’t educate our youth on the very real and very complicated dynamics of sex, how can we expect them to act accordingly? How do we expect them to respond to domestic abuse and dating violence when they are never shown what a healthy relationship looks like or how to build one? Some responsibility does fall on the teenagers themselves: if they want to become sexually active, they should take the initiative to educate themselves. However, the burden should not rest on those of us who know better. It is not always easy to find reliable information about sex and sexuality.
The question now shifts to, “How do we solve this problem?” I personally want to start a peer mentoring program during my undergraduate years for local high school students to provide an environment for teenagers to ask questions and get answers about sex and relationships in a less confrontational environment than they might find at home or in a clinic.
If you don’t have the time or resources to start your own group, there are also a bunch of amazing programs already out there. Planned Parenthood has an awesome program similar to this in Arizona, and I’m sure there are many others in more sex-ed friendly states. Why not give a few hours of your time to one? Or, if that’s not an option, just talk to the teens and young adults you know about these issues. Many seem to underestimate the impact talking to a few people can have. Information about sex will spread around throughout social circles, whether it is true or not. Why not take a step to providing better sex education outside of the classroom?
Sex and sexuality can make many people very uncomfortable. However, we can’t let that discomfort allow us to stand idly by when we could step in and change things for the better. It can be a hard conversation to have, especially for those of us who’d like to believe that “they’re too young to need that much information.” Trust me; by the time a teen starts high school, they need this information, either for themselves or their friends. Knowledge is power. Let’s empower our children, peers, and friends to take control of their sexuality and their choices before that choice is taken from them.