Because I am a Woman

This blog is about sex-positivity, sex-ed, feminism, reproductive justice, birth justice, intersectionality, and activism. Because I am a Woman features articles, news, opinion pieces, digital media, and original information posts on all of the topics and more.

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Posts tagged "sexuality"
Asker Anonymous Asks:
To the first asexual anon: There are some people who will ALWAYS try to talk you out of ANY queer identity, usually using your own past as "proof." Your friends say you can't be ace because you've had sex; my friends say I can't because I haven't. ("How can you know if you've never done it??" Ugh.) You will never be able to convince them. Just shrug and keep going. Live how you want! Breaking out of heteronormativity is never easy, but as the other anon said, it's always worth it!
becauseiamawoman becauseiamawoman Said:

Great advice— in response to an old post, but throwing this out there anyways because it is important!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Lately I've been thinking that I'm asexual because all my friends seem to constantly want sex and masturbate etc and I'm just not all that interested. Whenever they talk about sex explicitly I start feeling really uncomfortable and I've tried telling them that I think I'm asexual but since I've had sex before they don't really believe me. I have been sexually attracted to people before, but very few people compared to my friends. Do you have any advice?
becauseiamawoman becauseiamawoman Said:

My advice is that anybody who tells you how to define your own sexuality isn’t being an awesome friend. Having had sex before has nothing to do with whether or not your are asexual. The great thing about sexuality is that yours is your own to define- so don’t listen to what anybody else has to say about whether or not you fit into what their narrow definitions are. 

The images from Swedish photographer David Magnusson’s new book, Purity, are beautiful, disturbing and tell a distinctly American story – a story wherein a girl’s virginity is held up as a moral ideal above all else, a story in which the most important characteristic of a young woman is whether or not she is sexually active. This narrative of good girls and bad girls, pure girls and dirty girls, is one that follows young women throughout their lives. Purity balls simply lay that dichotomy bare. In a clip from a Nightline Prime episode on these disconcerting events , a father tells his braces-clad daughter, “You are married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend.”

While it would be easy to dismiss purity balls as fringe – most American fathers don’t require their daughters to pledge their virginity in an elaborate ceremony – the paternalism and fear of female sexuality underlying the events are present throughout American culture. (I wrote about this phenomenon in my 2009 book, The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women.)

The idea of girls’ chastity as a mobilizing force in culture and politics may feel like a throwback, but it’s something that still tangibly impacts thousands upon thousands of modern women – even through policy.

By: Erin M. 

It is no secret that sex education is severely lacking in most of our schools. Since parents often don’t know how to address the topic with their children, or don’t think the information is important for them to know (presumably because they don’t want their children to be having sex,) many kids end up not getting the vital information that they need. The result is that we live in a society where people are severely undereducated about sexuality and sexual health.

Although this post won’t be tackling the issues around sex education, we will be talking about some rather surprising information that you may not know about sexuality, that can change your sex life for the better!

Fact: 1 in 4 teenagers will contract an STI Each Year

Most people think that getting an STI could never possibly happen to them and you’re only truly at risk if you are promiscuous, which is far from true. In truth, 1 in 4 teens will contract an STI each year. You can contract an STI each and every time you have unprotected sex.

That’s why it’s important to practice safer sex. Using condoms, dental dams, or other barrier methods with each new partner is probably the best way to practice this. Really, the only time it is safe not to use a condom or dental dam is if you and your partner have each been tested, discussed it, and have not slept with anyone else since.

Also, communication is key! Talk to your partner- ask them if and when they’ve been tested and consider going to get tested together. Be honest about your status. Having had or having an STI is not something to be ashamed of.

Fact: 40% of women become pregnant before age 20
Teenage pregnancy is a lot more common than you think. This should illustrate why having access to reproductive health services is so important, both in preventing pregnancy and in terminating it.

Now, as you can probably assume, 40% of teenagers don’t want to have a child. Unintended pregnancy is, too often, the result of a lack of sex education. Teens aren’t learning about how to use or obtain contraception, they aren’t being taught about how to practice safer sex, nor are they learning about what can cause pregnancy (for example, there can be sperm in precum, meaning that any penis/vagina contact can put you at risk).

This fact alone is why we need access to comprehensive sex education.

Fact: You CAN still get pregnant on the pill
No form of contraception is fool-proof; if you’re having penetrative sex involving a penis and vagina, there is always a risk of pregnancy.

The birth control pill is one of the most popular methods of contraception out there, and there are two main types that can be used: progesterone only and combination (that use a combination of hormones) pills. If your pills are progesterone only, you must take it at the same time every day for it to be effective.

If you take the pill correctly, as directed by your doctor everyday, you will have less than 1% chance of getting pregnant. If you don’t always take it or take it correctly, the chances are more like 9%.

No one is perfect, so it is unlikely that you’ll take your birth control each and every day without fault. 

If you are using the pill and worried about pregnancy, consider using a backup method of contraception along with it. Since the pill is hormonal, you may want to use a barrier method, something like a condom or try pulling out.

If it turns out that the birth control pill is not the best method for you, there are plenty of other options out there. The most important thing to remember is to have conversations with your medical provider about what methods will be best for you, your body, and your lifestyle. 

Fact: Pulling Out Can Be An Effective Method of Contraception

Although you’ve probably heard that pulling out is not an effective way to prevent unwanted pregnancy, if executed properly, it can be a very effective method to use. Plus, it is free!

If you use it correctly each and every time, you have a 4% of getting pregnant within one year, meaning that it is 96% effective.

It’s those that don’t do it correctly that you always hear about- they have a 27% chance of getting pregnant within one year, making the pull out method only 73% effective.

The key for doing it correctly is communication! You and our partner have to really know your body and have an immense amount of self-control.

Check out this video to learn more about how to use this method if you’re interested.

Do you know of any other surprising facts about sex that were not included here? Reply or reblog this post and let us know! We will check-out everything included and add it in to our next post on the topic.