Because I am a Woman

This blog is about sex-positivity, sex-ed, feminism, reproductive justice, birth justice, intersectionality, and activism. Because I am a Woman features articles, news, opinion pieces, digital media, and original information posts on all of the topics and more.

Although this blog is run by just one person, BCIAW also works with several contributors to bring readers a steady stream of original and thought-provoking posts. If you wish to join the team, please fill out and submit this application

For more information about any of these things please check out the resources tab or leave me a question in my ask box! I would love to talk to you!

If you have anything you would like to bring to my attention or ask that you do not feel comfortable submitting to this page send me an email at:

Many thanks to Susan of for designing my logo!

Recent Tweets @@bciamawoman
Posts tagged "sexuality"



For Je t’aime moi aussi, photographer Olivier Fermariello enters the bedrooms of individuals with disabilities, cutting through taboo and rarely discussed topics to reveal the complex sexual identities of his subjects.In a world that subscribes to a relatively homogeneous definition of beauty, physical differences at times become a source of discomfort. 

Image description: Three color photos of light-skinned people with disabilities. The first shows someone in a very stately room with high ceilings, nude except for tall white stockings and what seems to be a very tall, aristocratic wig. The second depicts a person of short stature standing on a stepstool at a bathroom sink, wearing a blue bra and underwear. The third is of a person wearing Superman underwear in a manual wheelchair, apparently dancing or in motion. 

Asker Anonymous Asks:
To the first asexual anon: There are some people who will ALWAYS try to talk you out of ANY queer identity, usually using your own past as "proof." Your friends say you can't be ace because you've had sex; my friends say I can't because I haven't. ("How can you know if you've never done it??" Ugh.) You will never be able to convince them. Just shrug and keep going. Live how you want! Breaking out of heteronormativity is never easy, but as the other anon said, it's always worth it!
becauseiamawoman becauseiamawoman Said:

Great advice— in response to an old post, but throwing this out there anyways because it is important!

Asker Anonymous Asks:
Lately I've been thinking that I'm asexual because all my friends seem to constantly want sex and masturbate etc and I'm just not all that interested. Whenever they talk about sex explicitly I start feeling really uncomfortable and I've tried telling them that I think I'm asexual but since I've had sex before they don't really believe me. I have been sexually attracted to people before, but very few people compared to my friends. Do you have any advice?
becauseiamawoman becauseiamawoman Said:

My advice is that anybody who tells you how to define your own sexuality isn’t being an awesome friend. Having had sex before has nothing to do with whether or not your are asexual. The great thing about sexuality is that yours is your own to define- so don’t listen to what anybody else has to say about whether or not you fit into what their narrow definitions are. 

The images from Swedish photographer David Magnusson’s new book, Purity, are beautiful, disturbing and tell a distinctly American story – a story wherein a girl’s virginity is held up as a moral ideal above all else, a story in which the most important characteristic of a young woman is whether or not she is sexually active. This narrative of good girls and bad girls, pure girls and dirty girls, is one that follows young women throughout their lives. Purity balls simply lay that dichotomy bare. In a clip from a Nightline Prime episode on these disconcerting events , a father tells his braces-clad daughter, “You are married to the Lord, and your father is your boyfriend.”

While it would be easy to dismiss purity balls as fringe – most American fathers don’t require their daughters to pledge their virginity in an elaborate ceremony – the paternalism and fear of female sexuality underlying the events are present throughout American culture. (I wrote about this phenomenon in my 2009 book, The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity is Hurting Young Women.)

The idea of girls’ chastity as a mobilizing force in culture and politics may feel like a throwback, but it’s something that still tangibly impacts thousands upon thousands of modern women – even through policy.