Because I am a Woman
This blog is about sex-positivity, sex-ed, feminism, reproductive rights and activism.
Feel free to send me a message with your questions about sex, sexual health, sex toys, feminism, or anything else!
For more information about any of these things please check out the resources tab or leave me a question in my ask box! I would love to talk to you!
tumblaah Asks:
becauseiamawoman Said:
CONT: “Also just thought I should make it clear I don’t expect you to condemn porn either. I don’t even know how I feel about it yet, but I know I wouldn’t want it to be part of my relationship. I’m completely in favour of sexual liberation and making your own sexual choices and if people are happy with porn in their relationship then that’s great. But some people aren’t and there’s nothing wrong with that either and they don’t have to be if they don’t want to be. Hope this doesn’t sound defensive!”
When you dismiss your partners preference for pornography is where the problem is. Your partners sexual preferences are not about you, they are about what your partner likes and does not like. You should not ask your partner to change who they are and what they like, but discussing with them what you do together and the perimeters of your relationship is essential. I think this is where a lot of the issues are coming from. If your partner likes porn and you don’t want them to watch it, again, I would encourage talking to your partner and getting to the root of what makes you uncomfortable about it, and why they watch the porn instead of just telling them not to do it because you don’t like it.
You are right, if you don’t feel comfortable with it and your preferences don’t match up, and there is no room for change in that equation, maybe it is not the right relationship or partner for you. However, it is not fair to ask someone to change who they are and what they like.
